Make it or Break it

Sometimes in our lives, things get so complicated that we lose sight of what really matters. And sometimes we tend to forget how things should be – realistically and practically speaking.

We are so lost in confusion that we didn’t know how to handle things anymore. 

Then, we let the world – the people  around us, the situation we allow – dictate the things that happen… but we should not. 

Flipping coins, having a random roulette, and closing your eyes then opening them to show you which you should choose or do are just some silly ways to get manipulated by luck.

We all want things. Yes, there are choices, and as humans with an intellectual capability, we can narrow those down to which is more important. But what do we do? We assume that we are too weak to determine for ourselves what is best for us. We even end up always relying on other people to make these decisions for us.

This is just unfortunate that most of us are cowards. We are not able to take the risks because we are afraid on how it is going to affect us, the plans and principles we have. But if not cowardice, we are misled by the risky things we do.

I have taken a huge risk. But things and situations change so quickly, even our perspectives do. Then, it changes our decisions.

So, we tend to create these scenes where we get to decide whether it is a “make it” or “break it”moment. Well, for me… it was a “break it” moment. And because it happened, it made things clearer for me. 

Yes, we should take risks.

I knew it was risky… and that was my fault.

I had to go through some shitty things and stupid decisions first – outing myself too much and doing such reckless and bold moves -before it knocks me right over and wakes me up from this obnoxious idea. (Well, literally, my bestfriend pulled my hair; the other threatened to slap me because of this.)

It hurts to get blinded by your desires and this flattery idea because at the end, you are the loser. You expected too much. He doesn’t care.

Now, I get the urge of still playing this petty “game” but, this time, with a different approach. 

It is now the part where I build myself up.

I spend too much time manipulating people to like me that I even forgot to show them that I am already amazing the way I am. Probably, I have this drive that I need to adjust myself to his standards, but I was wrong – that was a pathetic move. Why be somebody else for him? I tried to be cool and be liberated to get his interest. But the heck, I just wasted so much time of senseless conversations. It was all dumb. I was such a fool for him.

Yes, we do some reckless things sometimes. And I think that is part of learning – the hard way. That’s practically fine… because it opened my eyes.

And after all these thinking, I have realized that I kept losing myself, my direction, in these dreamy realities that I forgot I have a life to live.

Bird Set Free 🕊

I have been living with something that has been holding me back for so long – for many years now. And finally, I have released myself from captivity – from keeping in my feelings about it. I have realized that it is time to move on and let go of everything that disables me to see the future ahead.
It may be vague, as I have experienced, but leaving things out in the open and letting time heal it never answer the questions “what happened?”, “why did it not work out?” and “what went wrong?”

I deeply believe that the best thing in building a good relationship is proper communication, none of those audio-video devices or applications that hinder us from connecting with other people. We connect through each other’s eyes. We feel each other’s souls. We comprehend their personality through their actions. And that is the best thing about being physically present.

Not communicating is never a goodbye. It is a death wish that will haunt you and will make you feel guilty for the rest of your lives. So, no matter how hard it is to try, no matter how complicated things might go, we should face the things that troubles us.

Life can be just over in a snap. Why waste the time of wondering things when you can actually do it?

It is definitely hard to let go of something familiar and comfortable. But sooner or later, we have to loose things in life, in order to welcome not only new things but better – even greater things you never had before.

Sometime in our lives we should make that jump.

Take the risk to even try. Yes, you might get hurt and disappoint yourself, but atleast you will have one less of a regret to not look back into anymore.

I am scared. And I think everybody is. I am scared of changing things, most especially people in my life. We always get scared of meeting new people, thinking that they would not like you as the former do. But that is the thing… change is adjustment. It is to begin a new phase in your life. and to embrace the feeling of it.

Who am I kidding? This is a blog about love.

Life is full of choices. Everybody makes the right choices that made us where we are now, but most of the time we make the wrong and stupid ones that put us in this complicated situation called living.

Pumili ka ng lalaki na mas mahal ka kaysa sa mahal mo siya.

(Be with a man who loves you more than you love him.)

– My Mother, 2016

I have been told once (by my professor, after I reported once about the “Types of Boys” -yes, I know cringe-y) that you can’t choose who to love. Well, I beg to differ. Yes, you can.

You can’t choose the person who loves you, but you can choose whether to give back the love or not. We can’t just force things to happen. (Selfish, I know.) There are some things we should do because it is the right thing to do, and not because we are too human that we should have mercy and just love whoever loves us. That is not fair.

We are human beings capable of weighing the choices in our lives.

People change overtime, sadly.

Usually, they become different from what we were used to.

So when they do change, sometimes we see things in a different angle. We change our preferences. Because it is through time that we mature and learn to decide justifiably.

I know that some people are blinded by love and forgot about reality. 

Our reality should be wherein people think, decide, choose, and live with less regrets.

My One & Only Regret

After many months, my friend, Alfred, and I finally got the chance to catch up with so many things! He is like one of my best friends, and one of the friends I know I’ll have forever, so it is important to update events in each other’s lives.

One thing that we did for more than an hour was answering “would you rather” questions. Basically, it’s just about answering the question based on what you think you would hypothetically choose or do. Like, for example, “would you rather eat chocolate-flavored poop or poop-flavored chocolate?” It’s just as simple as that. But some are really tough like “would you rather be friends with the love of your life or marry your enemy?” It’s kind of a weird game but a really difficult one. When you come to think of it, you might possibly have to make those decisions one day.

Then, there was this one question that I always know the answer to…

Would you rather see your future or change your biggest regret?

I don’t think most people would like to see the future, you know. The future is unpredictable. It is something you shall not cheat on, it just happens. And what people should do is live in this Spectacular Now.

So, obvi I rather change my biggest regret, as well as my friend. Alfred shared that he would have chosen another career path. He would have wished that he pushed that dream school of his and have it differently than how he turned out to be. It’s like having a series of  ‘what-ifs’. And for me, I have this biggest regret, my only regret that I’ve had since my last year in  gradeschool.

I let my first love slip out of my hands.

If I would change it, I would have given it a chance. Let’s go down yo memory lane. So, I met a boy, a boy I had in my class. We were strangers to each other yet we became seatmates – for the whole school year. And in that year, we became really close, close enough to be bestfriends, then started to really like each other by the end of the year.

He was sweet, really kind, funny and smart. He was Mr. Right. He liked me for who I was behind all my flaws. He was a keeper, I must say.

But then when we had our first year of high school, everything became different. I don’t know what happened but for some apparent and unjustifiable reason, we weren’t friends anymore. It was all gone before we had the chance to be something. Even that beautiful friendship was gone And the rest was history.

I regret that I didn’t do anything about it. Well, I would have never knew what to do at that time. I was 13 and too young to know what was going on.

But only if I had the chance and see what would have happened with my love life. It doesn’t matter if maybe we are still together until now if it happened or not. What matters is what if we just tried.

There are alot of things we wished we never did. But that is life I guess. We make mistakes, and it is all in the past. And I am thankful for it. I would never change my past for I know it makes me who I am now.

But this is an exemption…
I’ve got this feeling that he would have been one of the greatest things that could have happened in my life.

I just wished our paths would cross again. I’m not hoping for anything but just to see how things would go if we became friends again.

To be honest, I rarely share this story to my friends. It just makes me sad thinking about it. It’s kind of difficult to go back to a time where you wish you could change it but you can’t, and you’ll never get to see what happens after because you know there is no next page.


Nobody can dictate Love.

Not even looks or similarities can tell who to love.


Love is a feeling that one can’t contain alone.

Love is something to give out that can make someone feel happy,

 accepted, appreciated and remembered.

It is not just some easy choice of a Yes or No?

Love is everything – from every aspect of your being.

Black or white, young or old, rich or poor, experienced or naive, bad or kind.

Sky is the limit when you love.

We choose to love based on what we feel and how we feel.

Love may somehow makes us vulnerable.

It may scare us at times.

But one thing is for sure…

Love is a wonderful feeling – an inevitable thing.


My Date on Valentine’s Day

You don’t need a love letter, flowers or a chocolate
Nor a boyfriend or girlfriend to be your valentine’s date
All you need is someone special like family or a close friend
Or maybe just stay at home and do what you usually do on a weekend
It’s okay if you have never been in love
Because Someone is already madly in love with you in the heavens above…
(Spontaneous Poem)


Holidays are for forgetting reality and just having some time to think…

Last night, well actually from midnight til 2 am, I was up watching this movie called ‘The Holiday’ starring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Black Jack. I thought it would be just another romantic sucker movie but I was wrong, partly. Ofcourse every romantic movie has a common denominator – you know who ends up in the end, or who falls in love, and that there will always be a happy ending (well not all, for example ‘One Day’) I don’t know if I just exaggerated my emotions or it was really a great movie. Or maybe because I was just looking for something to make me feel great. Anyways, it was totally a worth it movie to stay up all night.

It is amazing how sometimes when you try to move on, you can’t, unless you found someone new. (Oh, wait I think I can relate, just kidding) Yah, but that is true. So the two leading ladies in the movie switch places – England and Los Angeles. They both wanted space to forget this particular guy who broke their hearts. Then, it turns out, they meet someone which was related to the other person – which ofcourse they fall in love with.

Cutting it short. It made me feel so inlove. In the case of Cameron Diaz and Jude Law, the words Jude Law said: ‘I’m running out of reasons why we shouldn’t’. He said this upon asking Cameron on a date, having her known for days. I think it was the sweetest tag line I have ever heard. It was smooth but really sweet. I liked it when Kate Winslet and Black Jack both said ‘no’ to another chance from the person who hurt them.

No matter how much you want to make it work, sometimes, some things just don’t fit together. That is why you have to let go of something or someone that holds you back. It is important to be happy for yourself, and not because you made someone happy. Yes, it may seem too selfish but I think that is good, because the most important person to love is yourself.

But seriously, I found myself saying these words out loud while I was watching: “Oh My God! This movie is so GREAT! Exactly what I needed.” I am a huge fan of romantic-comedy movies. People may see me as hopeless romantic or a sucker for love, well, I call it meditating =D. It is the time for me to be relaxed. It’s the only time when I feel loved just like how the characters feel loved. I may not be experiencing being in love at the moment but through these movies, I gain experience.

But there is a downside, I know. In the end, I’ll realize these are all fantasies, not all of it happen in real life. Well, that part sucks, and that is why Hollywood is very influential. They make you feel and realize things but then they are all stories made up by professional writers. But, hey! Who cares?! As long as you feel that satisfaction and bliss… keep dreaming, keep believing. Then later, you’ll find yourself directing your own movie.

To sum it up, watch this movie ‘The Holiday’ tell me if I just overwhelmed myself too much or if it is indeed a good movie 🙂