Bird Set Free 🕊

I have been living with something that has been holding me back for so long – for many years now. And finally, I have released myself from captivity – from keeping in my feelings about it. I have realized that it is time to move on and let go of everything that disables me to see the future ahead.
It may be vague, as I have experienced, but leaving things out in the open and letting time heal it never answer the questions “what happened?”, “why did it not work out?” and “what went wrong?”

I deeply believe that the best thing in building a good relationship is proper communication, none of those audio-video devices or applications that hinder us from connecting with other people. We connect through each other’s eyes. We feel each other’s souls. We comprehend their personality through their actions. And that is the best thing about being physically present.

Not communicating is never a goodbye. It is a death wish that will haunt you and will make you feel guilty for the rest of your lives. So, no matter how hard it is to try, no matter how complicated things might go, we should face the things that troubles us.

Life can be just over in a snap. Why waste the time of wondering things when you can actually do it?

It is definitely hard to let go of something familiar and comfortable. But sooner or later, we have to loose things in life, in order to welcome not only new things but better – even greater things you never had before.

Sometime in our lives we should make that jump.

Take the risk to even try. Yes, you might get hurt and disappoint yourself, but atleast you will have one less of a regret to not look back into anymore.

I am scared. And I think everybody is. I am scared of changing things, most especially people in my life. We always get scared of meeting new people, thinking that they would not like you as the former do. But that is the thing… change is adjustment. It is to begin a new phase in your life. and to embrace the feeling of it.

Who am I kidding? This is a blog about love.

Life is full of choices. Everybody makes the right choices that made us where we are now, but most of the time we make the wrong and stupid ones that put us in this complicated situation called living.

Pumili ka ng lalaki na mas mahal ka kaysa sa mahal mo siya.

(Be with a man who loves you more than you love him.)

– My Mother, 2016

I have been told once (by my professor, after I reported once about the “Types of Boys” -yes, I know cringe-y) that you can’t choose who to love. Well, I beg to differ. Yes, you can.

You can’t choose the person who loves you, but you can choose whether to give back the love or not. We can’t just force things to happen. (Selfish, I know.) There are some things we should do because it is the right thing to do, and not because we are too human that we should have mercy and just love whoever loves us. That is not fair.

We are human beings capable of weighing the choices in our lives.

People change overtime, sadly.

Usually, they become different from what we were used to.

So when they do change, sometimes we see things in a different angle. We change our preferences. Because it is through time that we mature and learn to decide justifiably.

I know that some people are blinded by love and forgot about reality. 

Our reality should be wherein people think, decide, choose, and live with less regrets.

Advertisements

My One & Only Regret

After many months, my friend, Alfred, and I finally got the chance to catch up with so many things! He is like one of my best friends, and one of the friends I know I’ll have forever, so it is important to update events in each other’s lives.

One thing that we did for more than an hour was answering “would you rather” questions. Basically, it’s just about answering the question based on what you think you would hypothetically choose or do. Like, for example, “would you rather eat chocolate-flavored poop or poop-flavored chocolate?” It’s just as simple as that. But some are really tough like “would you rather be friends with the love of your life or marry your enemy?” It’s kind of a weird game but a really difficult one. When you come to think of it, you might possibly have to make those decisions one day.

Then, there was this one question that I always know the answer to…

Would you rather see your future or change your biggest regret?

I don’t think most people would like to see the future, you know. The future is unpredictable. It is something you shall not cheat on, it just happens. And what people should do is live in this Spectacular Now.

So, obvi I rather change my biggest regret, as well as my friend. Alfred shared that he would have chosen another career path. He would have wished that he pushed that dream school of his and have it differently than how he turned out to be. It’s like having a series of  ‘what-ifs’. And for me, I have this biggest regret, my only regret that I’ve had since my last year in  gradeschool.

I let my first love slip out of my hands.

If I would change it, I would have given it a chance. Let’s go down yo memory lane. So, I met a boy, a boy I had in my class. We were strangers to each other yet we became seatmates – for the whole school year. And in that year, we became really close, close enough to be bestfriends, then started to really like each other by the end of the year.

He was sweet, really kind, funny and smart. He was Mr. Right. He liked me for who I was behind all my flaws. He was a keeper, I must say.

But then when we had our first year of high school, everything became different. I don’t know what happened but for some apparent and unjustifiable reason, we weren’t friends anymore. It was all gone before we had the chance to be something. Even that beautiful friendship was gone And the rest was history.

I regret that I didn’t do anything about it. Well, I would have never knew what to do at that time. I was 13 and too young to know what was going on.

But only if I had the chance and see what would have happened with my love life. It doesn’t matter if maybe we are still together until now if it happened or not. What matters is what if we just tried.

There are alot of things we wished we never did. But that is life I guess. We make mistakes, and it is all in the past. And I am thankful for it. I would never change my past for I know it makes me who I am now.

But this is an exemption…
I’ve got this feeling that he would have been one of the greatest things that could have happened in my life.

I just wished our paths would cross again. I’m not hoping for anything but just to see how things would go if we became friends again.

To be honest, I rarely share this story to my friends. It just makes me sad thinking about it. It’s kind of difficult to go back to a time where you wish you could change it but you can’t, and you’ll never get to see what happens after because you know there is no next page.

ONE DIRECTION LIVE IN MANILA

As my sister said and I quote;

“The concert was so effing effing AWESOMEEE!!!”

We didn’t have tickets.
We weren’t inside the venue.
But we were there outside for the music…

Before I go to the details of the concert, let’s have a little back story:
Last year we tried to get these Titanium tickets for One Direction’s On The Road Again Tour but we didn’t push through with it. There were too many people, too many fans that craved for the tickets. So did we but we’re just so unfortunate. I really wanted to attend that I cried overnight because I can’t get tickets. I tried though. But that didn’t stop me from experiencing 1D on my own way 🙂

Since the venue was at the Mall of Asia Concert Grounds (open area), we decided to watch from the outside along with the team ‘Seaside’ (located outside the venue near the seaside), the hopefuls. We watched through the big screen, and it wasn’t so bad. We saw them, even when they walked along the runway that we get to see them through this small opening in the VIP section. I’m okay with it. I was satisfied enough.
image

I’m a Juan Directioner and I am proud of it…
Don’t care if people judge me because I like this boy band. They don’t know their songs but I do. They don’t know how much I admire them. But I am not one of those obsessive die-hard fans that cry in a very overacting way when they see their idol.

The concert started at exactly 10 minutes to 9 pm. The whole crowd, both attendees and hopefuls, went wild when the boys came in and sang their first song ‘No Control’. Everybody was so overwhelmed, that they cried – tears of joy. And me and my concert buddy, my sister, were singing at the top of our lungs! 🙂

Beforehand, the 1D staff have told the public that Zayn Malik couldn’t continue with the shows because he has to fly back to UK. They released a statement saying that Zayn is stressed lately that he needs to rest. It said that he is stressed because some picture of him with a girl came out when they were in Thailand when actually he has a fiance, Perrie Edwards from the girl British band Little Mix.
He couldn’t take all the mean stuffs that people throw at him. I find it very unprofessional. I mean I get it that he is a human being like us but he is a superstar. He has a duty to his fans. He disappointed alot of girls. Some of the fans outside even cried when they heard the part of the song that was supposed to be Zayn’s. They really cried, they really cried ugly. (No Offense) I just find it very disturbing. Then, I realized “(insert curse word) Zayn is not here” I found myself a little bit teary because I was annoyed. One Direction is here but without Zayn – Wrong Direction.

It’s not One Direction without effing Zayn Malik ;(

Even then, the boys gave us a performance of a life time :))

I have here lists of what I hate and what I love from the concert…

Things that I hate from the concert:
1. I hate that they always start a song by introducing the title, “Stockholm Syndrome, everyone!” – like element of surprise, please!?!
2. I hate it when they end every song, they shout “MANILAAA!!!” Then, the crowd goes wild.
3. I hate it that they repeatedly said:
“This is one of the best gigs we’ve ever had!” And the likes… which you know that they always say in every single concert.
4. I HATE THAT ZAYN MALIK WAS NOT AROUND ;(( because he is my favorite ❤

Things that I love from the concert ❤ ❤ <3:
1.I love that One Direction is in Manila!
2. I love that they are so handsome!
Not to mention, Harry’s Hotness, Niall’s Cuteness, Liam’s cockiness and Louis’ unique voice.
3. I love the staging – big screen and a long runway.
4. I love that we saw them :))
5. I love their British accents, especially Naill Horan’s adorable Irish accent.
6. I love how much they love their fans.
7. I love how the concert ended with a beautiful fireworks display.

Here is the list of all the songs they sang in order:

No Control
Steal My Girl
Where Do Broken Hearts Go
Midnight Memories
Kiss You
Stockholm Syndrome
Ready to Run
Strong
Better than Words
Where You belong
Little Things
Night Changes
Alive
Diana
One Thing
What Makes You Beautiful
Through the Dark
Girl Almighty
Story of My Life
You and I
Little White Lies
Best Song Ever

This has been one of the Fun Nights that I have ever in my life! :)))

I will forever cherish this experience 🙂 even if we weren’t really inside the concert, we still saw them, we heard them, we screamed and we sang along with them :))

They are such amazing performers.
I really love the way how they connect to their fans. They made them feel special like the concert was all about them. They made sure that their fans are loved especially when the group dedicated the song Where You Belong that Naill wrote. He wrote it to remind him that no matter how much success they have in life, they won’t forget where they belong; that all of these are made possible because of their endearing fans.

The band ended the concert singing to the Best Song Ever, and everyone was like happy enjoying themselves especially when the wonderful fireworks began.

It was a very unforgettable experience. A spectacular night, indeed.

Even though I didn’t get to attend the concert, I’m glad that I was out there. We really enjoyed it.
I am happy that I got the opportunity.<3

The Vamps Live in Manila (Our Awesome Experience)

Last February 2, 2015, the indie band called ‘The Vamps’ had their concert here in Manila, Philippines. It was held at MOA (Mall of Asia) Arena.

My sister and I attended the concert and it was so much FUN 🙂 She has been the best concert buddy – ofcourse, because we are sister and she is the only person that I’ve ever been with to concerts (Justin Bieber & American Idol Season 11). Oh and my Dad, too when we attended AI concert.

The Vamps are just new comers in the music industry, and not to mention, British cuties 🙂 The first song I have ever heard of them was Somebody to you ft. Demi Lovato. I just thought their music was cute. I didn’t think I would fall inlove with them because I was liking 5 Seconds of Summer that time. Well, their different from 5SOS. They play Indie songs while 5SOS plays pop/rock songs. That’s why I love them both.

I believe that this was the band’s first concert tour. They are just beginners but I admire them so much for the kind of music they make. The boys are just so cute. They are all perfect for the whole thing. Before, the concert date, I watched videos of them about themselves and the band. I discovered that the band was not something like they had ever since High School or something. They really intended to make this band – to create one. James McVey and Bradley Simpson teamed up to start one, but they are really not friends. They got Tristan Evans on the drums. Then, saw Connor Ball on YouTube doing song covers. So, that’s how they started. The name ‘The Vamps’ is not meaningful as I though it was (because they are all white that they think they look like vampires, I guessed). They said they named it that because James was a big fan of the Twilight movies and the series The Vampire Diaries. But still cute though 🙂

I love all of the members of the band. But who me and my sister really love is Connor Ball ❤ 🙂 I thought he is the mysterious type, kind of a bad boy look but you know chilling type. And he also has these light blue eyes. Then, we found out that he is the sweetest of all. He’s kind and he always smiles 😀 than the others do.

Because we loved the experience, I kind of tried to made a video blog out of it. Check it out!

A Story of Three Friends

Me and my two other best buds namely Ben & Kevin were on a road trip and then we got bored so we decided to write a short story on my notepad…

image

May tatlong magkakaibigan, dalawang babae at isang lalaki.
Nakasakay sila sa isang jeep, naglalakbay sa kawalan – gawain ng mga taong walang magawa.
Biglang may lumabas na tao sa inodorong puno ng dumi.
Ganda’y di inakala na ako’y nabigla at muling naniwala sa pag-ibig.
Ako’y lumapit at tinanong ang kanyang pangalan.
Yun pala ubod ng baho ang hininga kaya’t sinampal ko at tinadyakan ko siya.
Ayon, bungal!
Biglang napulot ang natanggal na ngipin,
Nilunok at sumigaw ng “Darna!”
Ayun patay!
Patay ‘di ngipin nalunok, bubog pala.

– Acenas, Galvez & Manlangit (2015)

Bow! 🙂

Clingy to Basketball

I have mentioned before in one of my blogs that I am a sporty person. There is always gonna be a part of me that is interested in sports. It’s one of my passions in life. Though I’m really not a sports fanatic when it comes to known athletes and teams. I have a brother who is 3 years older than me. He is my sports buddy, in the family, or maybe ever in my life, especially when it comes to Basketball (or just any sport of his interest). Well, we also talk about amazing stuffs about nature (i.g. animals), news, food, some of politics, exercise, basically, life – anything facts. That’s our relationship.

image

My brother is actually smart. I remember he used to watched TV and would always tune in to National Geographic channel. He also told me a few times how he reads the headlines in Yahoo News. He knows a lot. It’s just unfortunate that he didn’t exercise his mental capability to do something about it. All he wants to do is just play basketball – out in the court or play Xbox’s NBA 2K15. Basketball is practically his life, in the moment.

So we usually talk about basketball stuffs (but not so much that a girl can’t handle). I think it started when I began to sit with him in the living room while we watch basketball on TV. It was NBA Basketball Play-Offs during the time of Dallas Mavericks VS Boston Celtics, I think. I remember I was in my Senior year in high school. Everyone was talking about it, so I got interested. I rooted for Mavericks because I used to like Dirk Nowitzki when I was kid. I thought he was amazing; and he proved it in that season by becoming the MVP.

Then, it became consistent. I always liked the team that is humble, practically what Kuya likes, too. The last NBA Finals was between San Antonio Spurs versus Miami Heat. I was in favor of Spurs because I didn’t want Miami Heat to win, I don’t want Lebron to win. (Sorry Heat fans. Lebron is a great basketball player but he is just so proud and arrogant.) My brother explained me how Spurs is composed of Basketball players of different nationalities. And I think that is pretty cool that different people coming from different cultures came together, building up one strong basketball team. They showed that behind all their differences they learn how to understand one another, and that is what you call cooperation and teamwork.

I also watch with my brother PBA basketball games on TV. He even had a chance to watch it live in Araneta Coliseum – I was supposed to go with him but I was in school that time. He also told me how PBA works; and introduced to me how great are PBA players. (I actually have a crush on Mark Pingris because he is not only good but also handsome, obviously. Who wouldn’t have a crush on good basketball players? I myself is in to them, big time. Their practically my type.)

Anyway, I am not really to talk about NBA or PBA stuffs. I am writing about how I really love to watch a basketball game. Especially when my Brother is playing.

Basketball is not really an easy sport. I tried playing a few times but all I get to do to enjoy it is by shooting hoops. Back in high school, our PE class gave us the opportunity to do different sports. The boys are separated from the girls. So, there was this one time when we played a basketball game; and I really think it was funny when girls play. It’s really weird to see them all going after the ball. Everyone is hungry for it and desperately hoping to shoot into the basket. That is why volleyball is my sport because you get your own designated area and playing position. You can enjoy without having such riot. And besides the fact that there is no physical contact with the opponent.

image

My brother is pretty good at playing basketball. It is his passion. Whenever there are guest players in our village, he is always in demand. I have seen him play a hundred times, he heats up the game. Well, I guess I’m one of his biggest fans and his ultimate supporter.

There are times when I go out in the afternoon to walk my dogs, I always stop by at the basketball court and watch the game. Sometimes (or maybe most of the times) I’ve been mistaken for hanging out at the court because people think I want some attention from the boys, but That’s Not It! I spend some time there because…
1. I want to watch how great my brother plays.
2. I evaluate the other players – who’s good and who needs improvement.
3. For knowledge. I observe them and their techniques and how the game goes. I came to learn how basketball works.

For your information, my brother is kind of “on top” of the social pyramid in our village. He is kind of the leader of the gang. Some people are “terrified” of him. He is what we call in Filipino “maangas” – it means proud and includes the quality of the bad boys. Well, that’s basketball. They are boys. So, with all these, it makes all the boys in our place avoid doing something bad to me, because I’m the sister. Sometimes, I just don’t want the boys to think that I’m a girl who always need to be treated so gently because I consider myself as “one-of-the-boys”. I just don’t want them to feel that I’m unapproachable, I speak dude language, too.

There was this one time when big brother invited me to come with him and his friends to go watch a basketball league. This league is of composed of properly trained players – former college varsity players, retired PBA players, SK (youth city organization) participants, talented celebrities or just outstanding and passionate basketball players. It is conducted by some local government official, so the cash price is pretty big. The venue is located in the deepest part of the town wherein alot of people were there to watch the game. I was starstrucked. I can’t believe that I’m watching a great game with really good team effort and players with amazing skills. I really enjoyed watching. I even wondered about who the players are and how this league works. Big bro explained it all to me. I told him that it would be good to make a research about the back story of these players and how they end up there.

Basketball is one way on how me and my big brother bond. We would talk about it. I would watch him play. I would support him – by either giving him bet money or be the one to provide him water when he gets thirsty. I would come with him and his friends to watch a game from an outside place (and act like their “muse”). That’s practically it.

One thing I’ve learned from my brother is that Basketball is not for the weak. It’s for tough people who knows how to play hard because basketball is going to be difficult if you are not good at it. They always say “Basketball is more than just a sport” – as well as other sports. Well, I think you will never fully understand what sports is until you put your mind and heart to it.

Mahal Kita… Walang Pagsisisi

I just have to make a blog from what I saw  on the phone from the man sitting beside me awhile ago in the bus. I really did not intentionally want to look at his phone but then I saw it anyway when I glanced. So this is what I saw:
“Mahal Kita… Walang pagsisisi.”
Meaning that ‘I have no regrets loving you’. You know the time when you make that face like you don’t believe what the person is saying? Well that is one of those times I made that face of doubt and unsure. Having the fact that this guy is a “middle-aged” man. (I ended up sitting next to him because I only had two options: sit beside him or sit at the back with like 5 other college boys, which will actually feel awkward for me, even though there is a cute guy)Anyway, I know that love or romantic relationships are for everyone, for the young, old, homosexuals, anthropologists and masochist. But I haven’t encounter something like this until now where in old people courtship tag lines. It seems funny.  Well, I have no right to judge him. Apparently, the person who is he texting with I think is his wife? Because when I try to glance again, he was texting a person named “Mami” so I guess it was just his wife.I have watched this chick flick movie entitled “Love, Wedding and Marriage”, starring Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz. From the title itself, its about a newly wed couple facing the first stages of Marriage. The girl (Mandy Moore) is a marriage counselor and it has been their thing to fall in love with each other every single day. I find it sweet and adorable. It’s very promising that you profess your love for someone everyday. It doesn’t only shows how much you love that one person but how much you are IN LOVE with him or her. There’s a big difference.
Anyway, whatever was the reason of the man for texting that line to his wife (or maybe it was for another woman though, just assuming) He has his reasons. You know boys can easily melt our hearts with words. Apparently, some guys are used to throwing sweet lines like this to get get a girl’s heart.
It should always be a reminder for us, girls, to see is to believe. You know, boys gotta walk the talk. Like a line from a song by Disney stars called ‘Send It On’ says “a word’s just a word till you mean what you say”. Some girls say that boys make their world go round. True but sometimes we have to be wise, you know. It’s difficult to believe in something that is not actually genuine. After falling for that trap (lies), the girl gets her heart broken, cries for days, hates guys but goes on to the same process of hoping and believing. Like, stupid (sorry). Boys think that they can easily manipulate girls (well, I can’t blame the female gender for having such soft hearts) but c’mon let’s set some standards, girls!