This is me. This is my raw self
A random snap with no make up on my face
but just the lipstick stain that was left from the night before
It’s just the right amount of angle
An expression not too forced
A smile not too happy
Just because you can not let yourself to act as if everything’s in place
A smile not too sad
For you know there will always be hope in the little things we get
Or even hope in the words the people say
We hold on to the idea of whatever stands there tomorrow
To think that there is a big purpose of why endure this pain, this rejection, this disappointment
It was not expected
Nothing ever is
It just caught you off guard at the peak of your happiness
It tests you
It pulls you down into endless doubts, uncertainties, and unjustified reasons
And there isn’t anything you could have done to turn this around
At least not anymore
Nothing else but to accept
You have lost
My only regret is I brought the wrong weapon to the battle
I was deliberate at first, then desperation left me crumbling
This is a reminder of the idea that I was once hopeful, passionte and strong
However, you don’t know
I AM STRONGER
That I have to end this
At least this post
These thoughts at dawn
That were put down in words to be alive than to be useless in my head and wither
Does it even make sense?
Am I even being rational?
Is it too genuine or too dramatic?
Maybe I am just too expressive that you prefer I should have kept it inside?
Oh, well, like it or not
This is candid.
(Honestly, this is all just a spur-of-the-moment thought flowing with no direction, but I tried.)
25 August 2019 (4:27 am)