My One & Only Regret

After many months, my friend, Alfred, and I finally got the chance to catch up with so many things! He is like one of my best friends, and one of the friends I know I’ll have forever, so it is important to update events in each other’s lives.

One thing that we did for more than an hour was answering “would you rather” questions. Basically, it’s just about answering the question based on what you think you would hypothetically choose or do. Like, for example, “would you rather eat chocolate-flavored poop or poop-flavored chocolate?” It’s just as simple as that. But some are really tough like “would you rather be friends with the love of your life or marry your enemy?” It’s kind of a weird game but a really difficult one. When you come to think of it, you might possibly have to make those decisions one day.

Then, there was this one question that I always know the answer to…

Would you rather see your future or change your biggest regret?

I don’t think most people would like to see the future, you know. The future is unpredictable. It is something you shall not cheat on, it just happens. And what people should do is live in this Spectacular Now.

So, obvi I rather change my biggest regret, as well as my friend. Alfred shared that he would have chosen another career path. He would have wished that he pushed that dream school of his and have it differently than how he turned out to be. It’s like having a series of  ‘what-ifs’. And for me, I have this biggest regret, my only regret that I’ve had since my last year in  gradeschool.

I let my first love slip out of my hands.

If I would change it, I would have given it a chance. Let’s go down yo memory lane. So, I met a boy, a boy I had in my class. We were strangers to each other yet we became seatmates – for the whole school year. And in that year, we became really close, close enough to be bestfriends, then started to really like each other by the end of the year.

He was sweet, really kind, funny and smart. He was Mr. Right. He liked me for who I was behind all my flaws. He was a keeper, I must say.

But then when we had our first year of high school, everything became different. I don’t know what happened but for some apparent and unjustifiable reason, we weren’t friends anymore. It was all gone before we had the chance to be something. Even that beautiful friendship was gone And the rest was history.

I regret that I didn’t do anything about it. Well, I would have never knew what to do at that time. I was 13 and too young to know what was going on.

But only if I had the chance and see what would have happened with my love life. It doesn’t matter if maybe we are still together until now if it happened or not. What matters is what if we just tried.

There are alot of things we wished we never did. But that is life I guess. We make mistakes, and it is all in the past. And I am thankful for it. I would never change my past for I know it makes me who I am now.

But this is an exemption…
I’ve got this feeling that he would have been one of the greatest things that could have happened in my life.

I just wished our paths would cross again. I’m not hoping for anything but just to see how things would go if we became friends again.

To be honest, I rarely share this story to my friends. It just makes me sad thinking about it. It’s kind of difficult to go back to a time where you wish you could change it but you can’t, and you’ll never get to see what happens after because you know there is no next page.

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